Whoo boy, Jeanketeers, was Hubby Rick mad yesterday! I was spending my Sunday afternoon on our old sofa, forgetting about my worries with the sure-fire pick me up of a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte, a few warm kitties, and bargain-hunting on Craigslist. If you’re a shopaholic like me, you can’t beat the internet for great deals, especially in these tough times as people are having to let go of their precious items. I know I’ve been wondering how much we might put in the cookie jar if we sold some of Rick’s die-cast NASCAR miniatures, but that old grumpus won’t even hear of it.
Speaking of sourpusses, Rick came home steaming mad from Tacky’s Tavern, slamming the door and sending kitties akimbo! Now, he has a little bit of a temper but he never hurts anyone, that Rick is really a softy and everyone knows it. But he was stomping around like some kind of cave man from those beautiful Jean Auel books, and saying things I don’t think even cave men ought to say.
Well, to make a long story short (ha! like the internet is going to run out of ink if I keep blabbing my mouth!) he was watching that Rams game, and those football guys made him so mad he threw his new hat into the trash! Now, that upset me a little. Rick had this grungy old Rams hat that was covered in all kinds of smoodge and yuck from his job at the tire center, but he was so excited about this team this summer that he went out and bought a new one. I thought he looked really dashing in it, like one of those racecar guys with the bright logos that drink milk after a big win. But I guess it’s back to the old hat now. I’ll just have to wash the cat hair out of it, because one of my little furballs has made it their home.
Now, normally I don’t care a thing for football until the Super Bowl, and then it’s because of the Super Bowl parties! Last year I made these darling miniature pigs in blankets, only to “spice” things up I used little smokies instead of the regular weiners! They were the hit of the party, I tell you! But when Rick gets this steamed, I think it’s important to at least pretend like I care, to show some sympathy for him.
I asked him what was wrong, and he just went ka-blooey! Fire this and fire that, cut this one and bench that one and you should have heard the guys on the radio only they didn’t go far enough, and … whew! I can’t even keep up! Since they canceled my favorite soap opera our house has been pretty much drama-free, except for those CSI shows — I love each one more than the next I tell you. But now it looks like football is going to become the new soap opera in our house. I only wish someone would conk Rick on the head and give him amnesia! Haha, no, just kidding.
I tried to cheer him up, and said maybe they’ll win next week! Boy, Jeanketeers, that only made things worse. It turns out that they don’t even play next week! I thought these guys were professionals, and here they are taking time off in the middle of the season? Everything about this sport just confuses me.
Anyway, he gave up trying to explain football to me, grabbed what’s left of the sixpack of that awful Milwaukee’s Best Light that he drinks, and headed off to his hidey hole in the garage to cool down. At least, I hope he’s cooled down. He’s been in there a long time now.
So I just wanted to reach out to all you Rams fans and say, sometimes you just have to hang in there! Things don’t always work out right away, and sometimes they don’t work out at all, like the time my Dad and I opened a Christmas store in May. But you know what? You just have to keep on going because there’s always something else out there. Happiness is just a pumpkin spiced latte away, that’s what I always say!
Editor’s note: Thanks to Jean Teasdale, regular columnist at The Onion, for chipping in a little pick-me-up column this week over here at the RamsHerd. We could sure use it.
