To the 2010 year that has seen our Rams crawl, and then walk, and then run at last, I will run to my bar, walk with my friends, then crawl home at last. To each pick of our draft, I drink each a draught. And for each proudly held win, I toast again and again.
To Week 3, and the Washington Redskins
‘Tis a strange chemistry that brews in a team,
sometimes it works and fits like a dream.
But two old heads poured into the same dram,
just couldn’t mix like a good black and tan.
Sometimes ’tis better to start over anew,
and just let the kids do what kids do:
Make the most out of a good second chance,
and prove not to be the same sorry old Rams.
To Week 4, and the Seattle Seahawks
If your enemy’s enemy your friend should be,
We’ve welcomed any who beats up on thee.
But watching while others go have all the fun
Just didn’t satisfy when we couldna beat none.
So it’s a special good cheer to end this bad streak,
E’en if we can’t recollect much of that week
One win back then is nothing to boast
but to do it again would be reason to toast!
To Week 6, and the San Diego Chargers
From opposite directions we did come
a contender and pretender did meet in the Dome
But perhaps some role reversal’s in order
Did our team win when your team oughta?
Or did your team think cheap shots were enough
to take out a kid who’s not s’posed to be tough?
A hard lesson came while we learned how to win
But don’t drown in your misery, join me in gin!
To Week 8, and the Carolina Panthers
We know how it is, it’s hard to stand firm
When you’ve lost faith in the hand that stands at the helm
You’re trapped as the captain steers the wrong line
And slim hopes for the future idles on pine
Bradford and Clausen should’ve been matched
Even if the outcome might not have changed much
Because our Rams were just full of that juice;
Before the game, we all toasted BRUUUUUCE!
To Week 12, and the Denver Broncos
Some justice, like beer, is better cold-served;
In a Mile High climate, you got what’s deserved
SpyGate’s Scarnecchia got his lens out again
Just as he did once in old New Orleans
Stealing a Super Bowl, though never caught
Rams fans know that “dynasty” was ill bought
While it’s nice just to get the big road win
It’s nicer still to see punished your sin.
To Week 13, and the Arizona Cardinals
Your team was once ours, and ties that do bind
Still tie our hearts to the desert sometimes.
But on Sundays we go against one another
It’s as enemies afield, not as a brother.
Now with dear Kurt a memory to us both
The tables turn back and we mutter this oath:
“No more will we lay down like doormats again;
Cheers we give freely, but to wins we lay claim.
To Week 16, and the San Francisco 49ers
Oh red and gold, that we so love to hate
Can there gladder times be than when you deflate?
The pressure was on, the playoffs at stake
As our Rams readied another bad streak to break
Your blustery coach puffed full of hot air
Got punctured and blew up right then and there.
But as young York goes hunting for heads,
Let us clink glasses and drink up instead.