Rams-Vikings: A Mixologist’s Guide

Whether you want to upscale your tailgate get-together and separate yourself from the foozie-wearing riffraff, or you are looking for a more sophisticated set of imbibements to match your fluctuating spirits while at home, we at RamsHerd have devised an answer:

A return to the cocktail.

You see, beer only comes in two moods — joyous, and sodden, and not necessarily in that order. Hardly complex or varied enough to express the roiling emotions, or slake the inner turmoil, of the typical Rams fan. So with this unmanning matchup before us, we humbly offer these recipes for liquid courage.

The Favre-y Wallbanger

Usage: Perfect for all those occasions when the Rams have the opposing quarterback seemingly in their grasp, only to watch him wriggle away and heave aloft an impossible pass that is somehow caught by a receiver whose name you never heard of, leaving you banging your head against the nearest object in dismay.

Enjoyment: The Galliano, properly poured so it sits on top and breathes into the air, offers a heady twist on the classic vodka screwdriver. Even before sipping the Favrey Wallbanger, its cheeky aroma shocks the senses and cleanses the mental palate. A gorgeous drink that has nurtured a great many ugly drunks.

The LA Throwbacks

Usage: Whether you want to commemorate those royally-colored throwback unis, or just want to take a stroll down memory lane until you find your happy place, this cocktail will be sure to perk up your demeanor and have you bobbing and weaving all the way to the end zone.

Enjoyment: The bright colors cannot disguise what is obvious from the ingredients list — this potent cocktail simply has too many weapons. You cannot defend them all, your only hope is to contain them.

The Turf Toe

Usage: For when the game is moving too fast and you need to slow things down, try this potent little number. But don’t try to shotgun it. This is a sipping cocktail, and one that demands patience. Take it one carry at a time, and remember to trust in the plan.

Enjoyment: Despite its diminutive size, the “four pillars” of this drink make this a complex and slightly medicinal brew that rewards patience and a slower approach. The sweet/sour lemon juice should be added to taste, but a warning: attempting to sugar this one up could make you quite nauseous.